Well, the adventure has begun...at least in my mind. I left Oregon on Saturday for Arizona. Well, it is already Monday and tomorrow I leave Arizona for New York. I know it may not sound like the "exciting" part of my journey, but for me, it is the the most exciting. It's the beginning.
There are a lot of feelings that come, and go, with "the beginning". I'm not sure what all of them are. I'm all over the place. I find myself exploding from the inside with joy, then crying for no reason while having coffee at the local cafe. Just speaking about where I am going and what I am doing brings waves of delight to my soul. To be so happy on the inside...it's just amazing.
I've always felt that I had a great life and was happy. As the time approaches for me to leave, I realize that I am becoming, for lack of a better word, happier. Yes, happier than I thought I could be. It's this incredible sense of elation at the thought of being in pursuit of the Creator of the Universe and knowing that my life for the next 6 months will be focused on loving Him wholly.
My emotions are just all over the place.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
Mwanamke anakimbea...
What does that mean? Well, the woman is running. For the last two weeks, I've been trying to put my nose to the grindstone and learn Swahili. Very interesting, to say that least. Aside from the fact that most of the words all look the same and I keep forgetting if I am a mwanamume or a mwanamke, I'm getting there. I mean, I can accurately pronounce 'the boy is under the plane' (mvulana juu ya ndege) and who doesn't use that expression daily?
All I need to do now is master Swahili, so that I will be able to speak with my translator who will translate my Swahili into Maa. Oh yes, there is another language. I know that some of you must be thinking "well, why not just learn Maa?". Excellent question and if there was even a written dictionary in publication out there, I would. I've yet to find many materials to use in learning this language. So, I think that I am on my own pretty much until I get to Arusha. C'est la vie. Oh wait, that's french. I don't know the Swahili version yet.
All I need to do now is master Swahili, so that I will be able to speak with my translator who will translate my Swahili into Maa. Oh yes, there is another language. I know that some of you must be thinking "well, why not just learn Maa?". Excellent question and if there was even a written dictionary in publication out there, I would. I've yet to find many materials to use in learning this language. So, I think that I am on my own pretty much until I get to Arusha. C'est la vie. Oh wait, that's french. I don't know the Swahili version yet.
Monday, April 14, 2008
The pieces are really falling into place
So, I found out 12 days ago that I was to leave for Tanzania in 50 days. That's 50 days to settle all my accounts here for the next 7 months, find a new home in Arusha, raise a substantial amount of support, put together a prayer team, buy a 4WD rig and learn how to drive on the opposite side of the road on the other side of the 4WD rig driving stick...plus a few other things.
Because of the rapidity of this, many friends and family have asked over the last 2 weeks if I feel this is the right thing to do. Am I sure that I can put all the pieces together that fast? Am I sure that the entire continent of Africa will not just swallow me up when I arrive because I don't have a single one of these items fully accomplished yet and leave in just 5 weeks?
It's made me think an awful lot and each time I am reminded of what believing, what faith, is really about. Faith...believing in what is not known; what I cannot confirm; what I cannot see and what I have a darn hard time explaining at times.
Would it take as much faith for me to leave my job if I knew where I was going? Would it take as much faith to head on over to Tanzania if all the details were worked out? For me, the answer is a pretty firm no. I'm not saying kudos to ErinStacy because she has faith. What I am saying and what I am really learning is that if God is going to be the leader in my life, then I had better learn how to follow, even if I have no idea where I am being led. It's really easy for me to follow if I know all the steps to the dance. It's another thing for me to step out on the dance floor, blindfolded and not knowing what genre of music is about to be played. A bit uncomfortable? Heck yes.
Because of the rapidity of this, many friends and family have asked over the last 2 weeks if I feel this is the right thing to do. Am I sure that I can put all the pieces together that fast? Am I sure that the entire continent of Africa will not just swallow me up when I arrive because I don't have a single one of these items fully accomplished yet and leave in just 5 weeks?
It's made me think an awful lot and each time I am reminded of what believing, what faith, is really about. Faith...believing in what is not known; what I cannot confirm; what I cannot see and what I have a darn hard time explaining at times.
Would it take as much faith for me to leave my job if I knew where I was going? Would it take as much faith to head on over to Tanzania if all the details were worked out? For me, the answer is a pretty firm no. I'm not saying kudos to ErinStacy because she has faith. What I am saying and what I am really learning is that if God is going to be the leader in my life, then I had better learn how to follow, even if I have no idea where I am being led. It's really easy for me to follow if I know all the steps to the dance. It's another thing for me to step out on the dance floor, blindfolded and not knowing what genre of music is about to be played. A bit uncomfortable? Heck yes.
Friday, April 11, 2008
So...what do you do?
For the past 12 years of my life, this has been a pretty darn easy question. I'm in college. I'm in grad school. I work for Maybelline. I work for Dial. I'm in sales. I'm in marketing. Not hard. Occupations that everyone understood and accepted.
On the plane two days ago headed back to Oregon from Scottsdale, a woman asked me what I do. Uh...I'm a missionary? Oh my gosh. Did I just say that? What does that mean? How will people react? What will they say? About 150 thoughts went through my head. Interestingly, almost none seemed to go through her head...just a blank stare. I smiled. She gave me this nervous look, then a weak smile.
How I went from the affable seat mate who was easy to talk to to someone who is the "m" word and therefore must believe in the "G" word, I'm not quite sure. It seems these days that one can wax and wane about the most scandalous and charged topics that would shock and offend 80% of the world and everyone will have an opinion but the mere mention of God or even worse, Jesus Christ, brings people to silence. Go figure.
On the plane two days ago headed back to Oregon from Scottsdale, a woman asked me what I do. Uh...I'm a missionary? Oh my gosh. Did I just say that? What does that mean? How will people react? What will they say? About 150 thoughts went through my head. Interestingly, almost none seemed to go through her head...just a blank stare. I smiled. She gave me this nervous look, then a weak smile.
How I went from the affable seat mate who was easy to talk to to someone who is the "m" word and therefore must believe in the "G" word, I'm not quite sure. It seems these days that one can wax and wane about the most scandalous and charged topics that would shock and offend 80% of the world and everyone will have an opinion but the mere mention of God or even worse, Jesus Christ, brings people to silence. Go figure.
Monday, April 7, 2008
So many details to work out...
Just arrived back into Oregon after being in the lovely Scottsdale area for 10 days. Sitting here telling my friends in Prineville about what I will be doing and where I will be going in the next 6 weeks is just amazing. I feel that my life is moving so fast and in such an amazing way.
I was out to dinner last night at Pita Jungle and a friend came up to me afterwards and said that I was radiating. That is not normal for me...I don't really radiate. She said I just exuded happiness. I told her why.
I thought it was pretty darn rad that this inward joy could be seen across 6 tables at a restaurant at 9pm at night.
I was out to dinner last night at Pita Jungle and a friend came up to me afterwards and said that I was radiating. That is not normal for me...I don't really radiate. She said I just exuded happiness. I told her why.
I thought it was pretty darn rad that this inward joy could be seen across 6 tables at a restaurant at 9pm at night.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
50 Days to go...
That's it. I'm sitting here in Scottsdale and the reality is hitting me that my dream, MY DREAM, what I have always wanted to do, is only 50 days away. Have you ever taken a step in the direction you wanted to go, only to realize that in taking that step, you are moving more than a mere 3 ft? You were moving your entire body, your entire mind, your entire soul, in a new direction? Welcome to my life.
Let's rewind 8 months. I'm living in Scottsdale, have a job that's good and am happier than most everyone I know. BUT (there's always that but...) , the nagging, the persistent tapping on my heart, begins again. It's been building for a few years...ever since I became real active at Park Street in Boston. It's that voice that asks what I truly want for my life. No, not an audible voice. Just...a voice. I know what it's saying with it's asking. It's been the same question for over 10 years. I've done a fabulous job of quieting it over the years, but I don't think that I want to quiet it anymore. I want it to speak. It does.
The result is seen in the selling of my new condo in Fenway, the resignation at my job in Scottsdale and the submitting of my application to become a missionary to Africa.
The process began last August and now, just 50 days away, all the pieces are falling into place. Sort of like a thunderstorm of information, the answers are coming; answers that I had been seeking for quite some time. The thunderstorm ends. I am soaked.
Let's rewind 8 months. I'm living in Scottsdale, have a job that's good and am happier than most everyone I know. BUT (there's always that but...) , the nagging, the persistent tapping on my heart, begins again. It's been building for a few years...ever since I became real active at Park Street in Boston. It's that voice that asks what I truly want for my life. No, not an audible voice. Just...a voice. I know what it's saying with it's asking. It's been the same question for over 10 years. I've done a fabulous job of quieting it over the years, but I don't think that I want to quiet it anymore. I want it to speak. It does.
The result is seen in the selling of my new condo in Fenway, the resignation at my job in Scottsdale and the submitting of my application to become a missionary to Africa.
The process began last August and now, just 50 days away, all the pieces are falling into place. Sort of like a thunderstorm of information, the answers are coming; answers that I had been seeking for quite some time. The thunderstorm ends. I am soaked.
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