Just arrived home from spending the weekend with Nina. God sure knows how to bless us when He puts people in our lives. I truly love my best friend. I know, we ALL love our best friends but I mean my soul loves her and is very thankful for her presence in my life. She's that sister that I never had, but more.
I think what I appreciated the most this weekend was her generosity. In everything she does, she is generous. The meals she prepares for me, the random gifts she picks up, the flowers in my room. She is just a wonderful example of what generosity is meant to look like.
Another thing that I value so much about being with her is how she has helped me embrace my freedom as a single woman again. After being in a relationship for over a year with a man who was very conservative with spending and conscious of every dime that was spent and not at all happy if I wore anything that did not resemble a potato sack because it might be too revealing, I was not only able to go shopping and buy clothes, but I was able to get dressed up, put on heels and make-up and buy some clothes that allow me to show off those curves that our Heavenly Father gave us. Girls, I'm not saying reveal it all. I'm not even suggesting to reveal a thing but embrace that body that God gave you. I've loved being able to shop again and go out to dinner and order anything that my heart desires on the menu. Anything! Steak! Wine! Dessert! And guess what? It doesn't have to be from the Happy hour menu only! Nina really helped me get over this hurdle this weekend and I feel so darn good.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Let my face shine
For the last 10 days, my church has had the thrilling opportunity to go through a Revival. We had the blessing of having Roy Fields of Run with Fire Ministries come to Kingston and serve the Lord through ministering to our congregation as well as the greater area.
The journey through Revival has been, and continues to be, almost impossible to scribe. But then again, aren't emotions and faith almost always? What words exist in our language to fully capture the glory of God and the way the Holy Spirit works?
As the team prepared to leave on Sunday and the Revival was wrapping up, there was a deep sense of sadness and uncertainty. Some I spoke to even said that in their spirits, they didn't feel it was time for him to leave. Comments like that make me stop and think. Roy's departure also comes at a time when our Pastor leaves for India for two weeks. The theme that I was picking up from so many was this: how can they leave us know? How can they leave us after this mountain top experience? What will happen to us? What are we to do?
Exodus 34:29 "It came about when Moses was coming down from Mount Sinai ...that Moses did not know that the skin of his face shone because of his speaking with Him."
Exodus 34:35 "the sons of Israel would see the face of Moses, that the skin of Moses' face shone. "
The story of Moses on the mountain top came to mind. After being in the presence of God on Mt. Sinai and receiving instruction from the Lord, Moses then came down from Mt. Sinai to deliver the Lord's instructions to the Israelites. However, Moses didn't know at the time that his face shone so brightly that it would cause him to wear a veil as to not blind the Israelites.
The answer to the questions lie in this simple passage. We are not called to live on the mountain top. We are called to live in the valley. The mountain top is only the time that we stand in the presence of God; the time that God Himself touches us. We receive in such a way from God in those precious times that they fill our spirit and our soul.
However, just as Moses, we are to descend from the mountain top and, with faces shining from the presence of God, be a light and a reflection of the glory of God. After all, if Moses had remained on the mountain, what would have happened to the Israelites?
So, embrace the time on the mountain but know that there is a time to be in the valley as well. What will happen now that Roy has gone and Vaughan has left? Nothing. They weren't the ones who touched my heart, it was the Holy Spirit and He never leaves me.
The journey through Revival has been, and continues to be, almost impossible to scribe. But then again, aren't emotions and faith almost always? What words exist in our language to fully capture the glory of God and the way the Holy Spirit works?
As the team prepared to leave on Sunday and the Revival was wrapping up, there was a deep sense of sadness and uncertainty. Some I spoke to even said that in their spirits, they didn't feel it was time for him to leave. Comments like that make me stop and think. Roy's departure also comes at a time when our Pastor leaves for India for two weeks. The theme that I was picking up from so many was this: how can they leave us know? How can they leave us after this mountain top experience? What will happen to us? What are we to do?
Exodus 34:29 "It came about when Moses was coming down from Mount Sinai ...that Moses did not know that the skin of his face shone because of his speaking with Him."
Exodus 34:35 "the sons of Israel would see the face of Moses, that the skin of Moses' face shone. "
The story of Moses on the mountain top came to mind. After being in the presence of God on Mt. Sinai and receiving instruction from the Lord, Moses then came down from Mt. Sinai to deliver the Lord's instructions to the Israelites. However, Moses didn't know at the time that his face shone so brightly that it would cause him to wear a veil as to not blind the Israelites.
The answer to the questions lie in this simple passage. We are not called to live on the mountain top. We are called to live in the valley. The mountain top is only the time that we stand in the presence of God; the time that God Himself touches us. We receive in such a way from God in those precious times that they fill our spirit and our soul.
However, just as Moses, we are to descend from the mountain top and, with faces shining from the presence of God, be a light and a reflection of the glory of God. After all, if Moses had remained on the mountain, what would have happened to the Israelites?
So, embrace the time on the mountain but know that there is a time to be in the valley as well. What will happen now that Roy has gone and Vaughan has left? Nothing. They weren't the ones who touched my heart, it was the Holy Spirit and He never leaves me.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Fruitful Labor
As I continue on along in my journey through the book of Philippians, many old verses are brought to me new. Words that I have read hundreds of times suddenly appear fresh and vibrant, and new meaning rings to them.
Philippians 1:22 "...this will mean fruitful labor for me..."
Hmm...fruitful labor. Not just labor; fruitful labor. I never saw the word fruitful before. I've always focused my attention on laboring for the kingdom but have never stopped to evaluate if what I am doing for the kingdom is fruitful.
Over the last decade, I've been able to build quite a nice resume of labor that I have done for the kingdom. Let's see...we've got the hospitality team at Cafe in Boston, Membership Committee at Park Street...oh and there is also leading small groups and helping out once a month at the breakfast. And how could I forget about the Greeting Team at Soma? Or about my missions work with SBC? I am sure I am not alone in being able to list all sorts of work that I have done for the kingdom. But my question is this: how much of this labor was fruitful? What activities did I do that really sowed into the harvest for the Kingdom? Interestingly, my resume becomes quite condensed. It's reduced to a handful of dedicated activities where my soul was invested in individuals and the deposits were made into Heaven.
So, I come to this point. What am I doing now for God that will yield not just a harvest, but a fruitful, abundant crop that will bring forth seed for the next harvest and the harvest after that?
Philippians 1:22 "...this will mean fruitful labor for me..."
Hmm...fruitful labor. Not just labor; fruitful labor. I never saw the word fruitful before. I've always focused my attention on laboring for the kingdom but have never stopped to evaluate if what I am doing for the kingdom is fruitful.
Over the last decade, I've been able to build quite a nice resume of labor that I have done for the kingdom. Let's see...we've got the hospitality team at Cafe in Boston, Membership Committee at Park Street...oh and there is also leading small groups and helping out once a month at the breakfast. And how could I forget about the Greeting Team at Soma? Or about my missions work with SBC? I am sure I am not alone in being able to list all sorts of work that I have done for the kingdom. But my question is this: how much of this labor was fruitful? What activities did I do that really sowed into the harvest for the Kingdom? Interestingly, my resume becomes quite condensed. It's reduced to a handful of dedicated activities where my soul was invested in individuals and the deposits were made into Heaven.
So, I come to this point. What am I doing now for God that will yield not just a harvest, but a fruitful, abundant crop that will bring forth seed for the next harvest and the harvest after that?
Friday, February 6, 2009
Selfish motives
I use to like the book Philippians. Well, that was until the Holy Spirit really began to get at me through the verses it contains.
If someone were to ask me, "ErinStacy, do you think you are selfish?", I would say a little bit, but not too much. Well, as I learned today, a little bit is just a little bit too much.
Philippians 2:3
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit; but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.
There is was...do nothing from selfishness....
Self-examination. Do I do things that are selfishly motivated. Yes, all the time. I really feel the Spirit moving in me to put the concerns and desires of others above me. Look out for the personal interests of others, not just myself.
What does that look like for me? Well, when I see that Mom needs to have her bed made, or Dad needs to have someone take the trash out, doing these things before I even have to be asked. Or, when I am asked, even if it is an "inconvenience" for me, doing it with a good attitude with the realization that 1 minute out of my day really is not a sacrifice.
I'm trying to focus on this each day.
If someone were to ask me, "ErinStacy, do you think you are selfish?", I would say a little bit, but not too much. Well, as I learned today, a little bit is just a little bit too much.
Philippians 2:3
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit; but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.
There is was...do nothing from selfishness....
Self-examination. Do I do things that are selfishly motivated. Yes, all the time. I really feel the Spirit moving in me to put the concerns and desires of others above me. Look out for the personal interests of others, not just myself.
What does that look like for me? Well, when I see that Mom needs to have her bed made, or Dad needs to have someone take the trash out, doing these things before I even have to be asked. Or, when I am asked, even if it is an "inconvenience" for me, doing it with a good attitude with the realization that 1 minute out of my day really is not a sacrifice.
I'm trying to focus on this each day.
My Circumstances
Philippians 1:12
Now I want you to know, brethren, that my circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the Gospel.
There I was, just reading on along in my Bible, when what would you know...God decided to write one of those verses. You know, that verse that you have read 1,000 times before and never before has it arrested your reading, but today it does and you realize, with hope and dread mingled together, that you will need to begin the process of changing. So it begins.
My life has gone through a lot of change in the last 12 months. Let's see...in the last 365 days, I have moved 4 times, and over 20,000 miles. I have gone from a six figure job to a zero figure job to a negative figure student. 365 days ago I thought that I would be getting married and now I am very single. I went from having all the freedom in the world to pursue my dreams, to being a caretaker for my aging parents and moving back home. And I haven't even begun talk about how all these changes affected me on the inside....
I've ceased trying to figure out why my life has changed so much. In the end, it doesn't matter. When I first came home from Africa, it was hard being here. I didn't have any friends in New York and to be honest, I didn't really fit in ( I still don't). Seems I missed the memo that said in order to be "normal" in upstate New York, you need to be married by 21 and have at least 4 kids by 30. Being 31, I calculated I was so far behind in the races that they might close the course before I finished.
I have to admit that I began feeling like life wasn't fair. Why me? Why can't I just have a good life again? Life just wasn't seeming to be my friend and ErinStacy was not too happy about that.
Through the last three months, even though I haven't been "happy" with my situation, I've been content. I think that contentedness comes from standing on the Rock. At times I feel like I am surrounded by an ocean of water and I have only this Rock to stand on. But I stand on it because I know it is the only thing that will keep me afloat until the waters recede.
So, back to the verse. Here I am, reading along, and Phil 1:12 hits. Such a simple verse with such simple ramifications for me. Paul is in prison. I've never been in prison, but I've seen movies and read enough books to know it is no posh place. He's being tortured and persecuted because he is a follower of Christ. He is given a piece of paper to write a note to the saints in Philipi and what does he write?
Well, what would I write. I think it would sound like this "Greetings people. While you sit in Philipi enjoying your life, and thinking that God is great and all, I am being abused and punished. I don't understand because I am such a better saint that you are (Mr. Y, weren't you just drunk last weekend?) and yet I am the one who has to go through all this. Where is the justice in this?" I think you get the point.
No, he writes that his circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the Gospel.
Humbling for me. It made me think. Can I say this of my circumstances? Do I believe that the circumstances that God has put in my life are for the greater progress of the Gospel? Am I making them to be such or am I refusing to be a fruitful laborer?
Change is necessary and has begun.
Now I want you to know, brethren, that my circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the Gospel.
There I was, just reading on along in my Bible, when what would you know...God decided to write one of those verses. You know, that verse that you have read 1,000 times before and never before has it arrested your reading, but today it does and you realize, with hope and dread mingled together, that you will need to begin the process of changing. So it begins.
My life has gone through a lot of change in the last 12 months. Let's see...in the last 365 days, I have moved 4 times, and over 20,000 miles. I have gone from a six figure job to a zero figure job to a negative figure student. 365 days ago I thought that I would be getting married and now I am very single. I went from having all the freedom in the world to pursue my dreams, to being a caretaker for my aging parents and moving back home. And I haven't even begun talk about how all these changes affected me on the inside....
I've ceased trying to figure out why my life has changed so much. In the end, it doesn't matter. When I first came home from Africa, it was hard being here. I didn't have any friends in New York and to be honest, I didn't really fit in ( I still don't). Seems I missed the memo that said in order to be "normal" in upstate New York, you need to be married by 21 and have at least 4 kids by 30. Being 31, I calculated I was so far behind in the races that they might close the course before I finished.
I have to admit that I began feeling like life wasn't fair. Why me? Why can't I just have a good life again? Life just wasn't seeming to be my friend and ErinStacy was not too happy about that.
Through the last three months, even though I haven't been "happy" with my situation, I've been content. I think that contentedness comes from standing on the Rock. At times I feel like I am surrounded by an ocean of water and I have only this Rock to stand on. But I stand on it because I know it is the only thing that will keep me afloat until the waters recede.
So, back to the verse. Here I am, reading along, and Phil 1:12 hits. Such a simple verse with such simple ramifications for me. Paul is in prison. I've never been in prison, but I've seen movies and read enough books to know it is no posh place. He's being tortured and persecuted because he is a follower of Christ. He is given a piece of paper to write a note to the saints in Philipi and what does he write?
Well, what would I write. I think it would sound like this "Greetings people. While you sit in Philipi enjoying your life, and thinking that God is great and all, I am being abused and punished. I don't understand because I am such a better saint that you are (Mr. Y, weren't you just drunk last weekend?) and yet I am the one who has to go through all this. Where is the justice in this?" I think you get the point.
No, he writes that his circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the Gospel.
Humbling for me. It made me think. Can I say this of my circumstances? Do I believe that the circumstances that God has put in my life are for the greater progress of the Gospel? Am I making them to be such or am I refusing to be a fruitful laborer?
Change is necessary and has begun.
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