Time in the wilderness

"Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the Devil." Matt 4:1

Over the last week, I've had such the opportunity to connect with so many of my dear sisters in the faith in Arizona. For me, it was a much needed time of renewal and rest. However, during my special time of restoration, I realized that many others so dear to me were in much darker, less joyful, trying places. Conversation after conversation echoed this theme. I found myself often speaking about a recent experience in my life; one that is still very fresh and not yet fully understood. I call it my time in the wilderness.

Matt 4:1 sets the stage. I've read, and studied, the story of Satan tempting Jesus in the wilderness many times. Oddly enough, I never really focused on the first verse. It is such an amazing verse and one that has quite literally brought me from my despair to my joy.

"Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness..." My initial thought? Who the heck wants to be led into the wilderness. The wilderness...an area where there is a lack of food, lack of water, and lack of protection against the beasts that seek to devour me. I know that in my life, I can only be led to a place that I don't want to go by someone who I trust implicitly and know quite well. Look at who led Jesus into the wilderness. It was the Holy Spirit. So, we've got a place that is anything but good, but our most trusted counsel is telling us to go there. Does that strike anyone else? It certainly does for me. It makes me think why am I meant to go here? Clearly, the wilderness was more than Jesus knew it to be.

"....to be tempted by the Devil." Then, Jesus is made aware that the entire purpose of going to the wilderness is to be tempted by the Devil. Again, this is not a situation that I would want to be in. But, the Holy Spirit has led Jesus there. His Father in heaven has given direction to the Holy Spirit to place Him in the wilderness where He will be tempted. And Jesus goes.

For me, the wilderness has represented my time back in New York. While I have grown spiritually, it has been a very dry place for me. I often find myself thirsting for relationships with other believers, hungry for people who desire to seek God's face daily. It's been a challenge leaving Scottsdale, then Prineville, then Tanzania...all places where there was an abundance of women who sought the face of God and challenged me daily, to come to New York. I'd often felt that I had entered into a wilderness and was no longer being led by God. I struggled for quite some time because I was no longer able to feel the presence of God. I was in the Word, I was in prayer, I was fasting...I was doing all the things that I had been taught to do to draw closer to God and yet...I still couldn't feel Him.

I'm still in the wilderness. But, praise the Lord, this verse has brought me from my despair to the fullness of joy. The wilderness no longer represents a place that is lacking in food, lacking in water and lacking in protection. Quite the contrary. The wilderness is abundant with food. Just like the Israelites, I need to eat of the manna that God is providing. The wilderness is abundant with water. Just like the Israelites, I need to drink from the rock that was stuck in my need. And the wilderness is abundant with protection. "I will never leave you or forsake you." What more can I say? My wilderness has turned from a time of wandering to a time of pressing into God and trusting that with each and every step, my God will lead me.

There is such joy in following God in the wilderness. More than I have ever felt in my entire Christian walk. He is now truly the light unto my feet. He is truly my strength. He is truly my fortress. When I praise Him, I